Subscribe with Bloglines The Whatever File: November 2007


Thanksgiving Reflection

I'm spending the week down at my country home to prepare for Thanksgiving. I love my country home, it's not fancy or polished and it's not decorated with great riches but rather other people's stuff that they gave to various thrift stores in exchange for the new stuff they are replacing it with. Some people would look down on that and think it's tacky to be using someone else's recycled hand-me-downs but not me I am tickled to death with the treasures I find and the inexpensive prices I pay. My country home is a peaceful place, a place that I come to so I can be rejuvenated, a place that inspires me to recapture the person I use to be and to surrender the suspicious and untrusting persona that has taken over my body as a result of too many hurts. Here there is no looking over my shoulders in a need to protect my brod, here I can rest, here I can pick up my bible and spend quite time with God or walk with him while we enjoy the beauty and nature that has been so long forgotten in the concrete jungle of the city where I live.

I am putting up pictures and adding character and charm in hopes that the holiday visitors will find peace and relaxation while visiting the way I do and for just alittle while they too can forget the business of the city. It's an odd thing I realize as I go about my decorations that this person inside of me that emerges while I'm here is the young girl who looked at the world with a giving heart and a trusting hand without the slightest suspicion of the hurt and pain that changed me into the person I am now. For the first time in a long time I feel unpressured, I feel less afraid, and I'm not angry instead I am happy and my heart is open and I long to be involved with life and people when before this last year I kept at arm's length in fear of being hurt or taken advantage of. Here I long to be the wife my husband deserves to have, the mother that my children remember from days gone by and the friend that use to open my house and home to the people I love and encourage relationships that I thought I could no longer have because of the fear I felt when I worried I would get hurt again. It's hard to believe that a change of residence can lift so much burden off a person but in truth it is God working with me through the distance that I am able to put between myself and my family from the bitter sadnesses that are associated with memories of our pasts in the cold, hard city. I am so thankful to God for putting us in the right place at the right time and helping us believe that it would all work out even though we couldn't afford the cost of keeping up two houses. Now looking back a year ago to when we were excited but scared when we purchased this place, I know that it was the right thing to do and in time the old house will sell and we will be here permanently and the feelings of the past will be left behind in the city we no longer call home.