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2.11.2007

Another bittersweet time in our lives...

It's been a hectic few weeks here on the homefront...first Todd was in the hospital, then Lucille, my kids great-grandmother and someone I claim as my own grandmother went into the hospital, and then my sister Gayle went into the hospital. Two recovered and came home, one - Lucille lost her struggle on Feb. 6th she was 92 yrs. old.

For all of the sadnesses I'm sure if Lucille were watching she would be happy to see that we really did celebrate her life in the two days we spent in rememberance of her. Family and friends gathered who hadn't seen each other in years, we laughed together, we cried together, we felt sad, but then we felt happy that even in death someone had managed to figure out a way to bring so many people together.

Funerals though appear to stand for an end are more often a means of a new beginning. Wayward love ones come back to find that no matter what you did or who you were before or how much you've changed people still love you and need you....sometimes a person, like myself will realize that they need to let people in and allow others to share your life.

I haven't spent alot of time letting people share my life, this outgoing, life of the party girl somewhere along the way became an introvert, a shy person, someone who might turn the other way rather than risk seeing someone she knew who was heading our way. It's funny that it takes a funeral to find one's self again, even though I was sad and missing Lucille, I was so happy to be able to spend time with people who I had long ago left behind, people that didn't deserve to be left behind, people who helped make me who I was. I'm thankful that God gave me a gift in a time of sorrow, I'm thankful that Lucille allowed me to share in her day. She was a wonderful woman, full of life and I feel like she brought me up even though I was an adult when I met her because she has taught me so much in life. She lived a long life and through lots of hardship but she did it with a smile on her face, she has taught me that God has given us all a life for which we can be happy in no matter what bad things happen along the way. She was a good Christian woman and I have no doubt that she is walking with Jesus right now.

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