Subscribe with Bloglines The Whatever File: 05/21/07


Sometimes you can't make sense of things....

Sierra had a spine doctor appointment today and it was not good. We knew from her x-rays she had that she had a 25% curvature to the spine so my thoughts were just hoping they wouldn't have to put her in a brace. Well it was worse than expected...the x-rays were not a full spine xray so you couldn't really see the larger curvature so they took a full body one in the office....she has a 27% upper curvature and and 43% lower curvature... the first words out of the doctors...well the nurse practiciners mouth was, "she's got to have surgery" well this just blew me for a loop....sigh I wasn't expecting this, she wasn't expecting this, heck nobody was expecting this.

The nurse then said maybe I better talk to a doctor and they brought the doc in and he agreed so now Sierra has to have an MRI done because they need to make sure of what is going on etc... Sometimes things just don't make sense! It was bad enough that she had all the heart problems and then loosing her eyesight for awhile, then the siezures, the stroke, the thumb defect, the low motor skills and low muscle tone...etc... I remember saying I wonder how much worse can it get when we found out about the seizures. I'm a christian, I believe in God, there is just no questions that run through my mind that start with, "why God..." but there is just a "why?" question but then I know that it's not God's doings, its the devil's.... somewhere in the back of my mind I can picture God and the devil having a conversation where the devil has some scheme up his sleeve to test our faith...I'm sure its got to do with some big movie theatrics but then I see God over there smoothing it over, I believe that behind the scenes what we don't see is what is horrible actually isn't as bad as the devil had planned it because God intervened. I believe that no matter how bad it looks from our end what we aren't seeing is the damage that was overted because God changed something for the better. I have to believe this and I know this because I know that the devil cannot stand the rock hard faith Sierra has in God.

She makes me stronger and more faithful and I hope she does everyone else who is hurting over this latest news because, she is such an example. She showed me today that it doesn't do any good to focus on the big thing but to tackle the small things first... in her mind it was more upsetting that she would have to forego eating for 8 hrs. in order to have this MRI then the fact that she would have to have surgery. Was she upset? yes but she focused on tackling the smaller problem first...maybe this is how we get through, one thing at a time, one day at a time.