Sprucing up my blog!

Well I am finally taking the time to put some much needed effort into what my blog looks like. Out is the tired old background that everyone else has on blogger and in is a new cutie looking background. My question is though, can you read it? Is it to busy? While I love the background I am not so sure it is readable so please post your comment and let me know!!

Very late in posting

Well I got to thinking I hadn't updated this at all since the day before my surgery so I thought I would update it. I had my surgery on Dec. 18th and other than the fact that they had to resusitate me the first night I did just fine. I have had a difficult time keeping my food down now that I am on solids so I am going to start back on soft foods again tomorrow to see if that helps. Thus far I have lost 38 lbs. and have lost several inches in various places. Sierra had decided that when I had the surgery she too would start watching what she ate and she has lost 8 lbs.!

Sierra will be beginning strengthening therapy soon to get her prepared for surgery. We expect she will have surgery in late April or early May so that she can heal during the summer months. She is in alot of pain but that doesn't keep her from giving everyone a smile, a hug, and enjoying fun times with each other. I am very proud of her.

Tori, John Daniel's fiancee still hasn't had the baby yet but the doctor said it could be any time now. We are all excited and looking forward to our first grandchild. The kids are excited too and Tori is ready to get this little girl out of her!

We will finally be moving at the end of July and we couldn't be happier about it. The hard part though is trying to get this house in some shape in order to sell it and this will take alot of time since we don't have the extra money to invest in fixing it up further.

Well I am off to bed now, I have been so sick that all I want to do is sleep so I don't feel the pain. God Bless!

Surgery Cancelled and Rescheduled..

I had hoped the next time I wrote here to be home from surgery but it was rescheduled. I won't go into detail since nobody reads my blog but me and I already know what happened. It's been rescheduled for Tuesday, Dec. 18th.

So here I sit knowing I need to be in bed but not wanting to go because I need to catch up on so many things on this dern computer. I have noticed ever since I was in the hospital in August that I have been azmatic much more when before I let my inhalers expire unused for lack of need now I am using them all the time. It seems that life is going down hill for me....I truly believe that God used my illness when I was in the hospital in June to show me that I needed to act if I were going to live another year. Once I found out I could have the gastric bypass I have pushed and pushed my way through any obstical or staff member who tried to slow down my progress. It is like walking a tightrope knowing you could fall at anytime but yet you got your eye on the platform struggling ever so slowly hoping that the tightrope won't fail you now.

I'm about to step on the platform though I have to walk the most perilous part of the tightrope but lucky for me God has my back and I know that He will see me through this. God is so good, He brings me through so many dangers. I can just imagine my day in heaven when my life is playing before my eyes.....towards this end of my life I am sure there are many, many times the Lord is carrying me until I can stand on my own. Tuesday will be another day he carries me, safely tucked into His loving arms He will keep me safe as I take this step to better my health. I am so thankful and so Blessed. Thank you Jesus! Praise God!

Life happenings!

Wow I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated this blog with all the blogs I have it is so hard to keep up! Well I have finally done all the bells and whistles to get bariatric surgery and it's going to happen on Dec. 14th - 2 days from now!

I should be in bed but I am trying to get things all done for when I go to the hospital....its hard getting ready you just know your going to forget something! I went to the store today and spent $163.00 stocking up on things that would be easy for Bobby to fix while I am laid up. I also bought the kind of stuff I will be able to eat once I'm done. I'm finally just about done with Christmas shopping and I hope to wrap tomorrow sometime but I dunno if I will get it all done.

I have had emotional highs and lows as one can imagine. Last weekend Bobby spent the weekend alone at the farm and it was wonderful but as soon as we got on the road to come home my stomach was all in knots and I thought I might throw up. It's like a different world there. You know I am not afraid of dying its the people I leave behind that scares me so especially Sierra. She told me not so long ago that she'd just want to die if something happened to me. She is also going to be having spine surgery soon so I worry about not being there for her. But ya know God is good and He will provide, there are so many people praying for us!!

On the bright side, this surgery will be like a new birth for me, a chance to be able to spend more time doing stuff with my family, being there for John Daniel and Sierra since I didn't do a very good job of that while they were younger. And of course I need to be there for my grandbaby due in January. Well I guess that's it. I need to hit the hay. God Bless anyone who reads this.

Thanksgiving Reflection

I'm spending the week down at my country home to prepare for Thanksgiving. I love my country home, it's not fancy or polished and it's not decorated with great riches but rather other people's stuff that they gave to various thrift stores in exchange for the new stuff they are replacing it with. Some people would look down on that and think it's tacky to be using someone else's recycled hand-me-downs but not me I am tickled to death with the treasures I find and the inexpensive prices I pay. My country home is a peaceful place, a place that I come to so I can be rejuvenated, a place that inspires me to recapture the person I use to be and to surrender the suspicious and untrusting persona that has taken over my body as a result of too many hurts. Here there is no looking over my shoulders in a need to protect my brod, here I can rest, here I can pick up my bible and spend quite time with God or walk with him while we enjoy the beauty and nature that has been so long forgotten in the concrete jungle of the city where I live.

I am putting up pictures and adding character and charm in hopes that the holiday visitors will find peace and relaxation while visiting the way I do and for just alittle while they too can forget the business of the city. It's an odd thing I realize as I go about my decorations that this person inside of me that emerges while I'm here is the young girl who looked at the world with a giving heart and a trusting hand without the slightest suspicion of the hurt and pain that changed me into the person I am now. For the first time in a long time I feel unpressured, I feel less afraid, and I'm not angry instead I am happy and my heart is open and I long to be involved with life and people when before this last year I kept at arm's length in fear of being hurt or taken advantage of. Here I long to be the wife my husband deserves to have, the mother that my children remember from days gone by and the friend that use to open my house and home to the people I love and encourage relationships that I thought I could no longer have because of the fear I felt when I worried I would get hurt again. It's hard to believe that a change of residence can lift so much burden off a person but in truth it is God working with me through the distance that I am able to put between myself and my family from the bitter sadnesses that are associated with memories of our pasts in the cold, hard city. I am so thankful to God for putting us in the right place at the right time and helping us believe that it would all work out even though we couldn't afford the cost of keeping up two houses. Now looking back a year ago to when we were excited but scared when we purchased this place, I know that it was the right thing to do and in time the old house will sell and we will be here permanently and the feelings of the past will be left behind in the city we no longer call home.