Surgery Cancelled and Rescheduled..

I had hoped the next time I wrote here to be home from surgery but it was rescheduled. I won't go into detail since nobody reads my blog but me and I already know what happened. It's been rescheduled for Tuesday, Dec. 18th.

So here I sit knowing I need to be in bed but not wanting to go because I need to catch up on so many things on this dern computer. I have noticed ever since I was in the hospital in August that I have been azmatic much more when before I let my inhalers expire unused for lack of need now I am using them all the time. It seems that life is going down hill for me....I truly believe that God used my illness when I was in the hospital in June to show me that I needed to act if I were going to live another year. Once I found out I could have the gastric bypass I have pushed and pushed my way through any obstical or staff member who tried to slow down my progress. It is like walking a tightrope knowing you could fall at anytime but yet you got your eye on the platform struggling ever so slowly hoping that the tightrope won't fail you now.

I'm about to step on the platform though I have to walk the most perilous part of the tightrope but lucky for me God has my back and I know that He will see me through this. God is so good, He brings me through so many dangers. I can just imagine my day in heaven when my life is playing before my eyes.....towards this end of my life I am sure there are many, many times the Lord is carrying me until I can stand on my own. Tuesday will be another day he carries me, safely tucked into His loving arms He will keep me safe as I take this step to better my health. I am so thankful and so Blessed. Thank you Jesus! Praise God!

Thanksgiving Reflection

I'm spending the week down at my country home to prepare for Thanksgiving. I love my country home, it's not fancy or polished and it's not decorated with great riches but rather other people's stuff that they gave to various thrift stores in exchange for the new stuff they are replacing it with. Some people would look down on that and think it's tacky to be using someone else's recycled hand-me-downs but not me I am tickled to death with the treasures I find and the inexpensive prices I pay. My country home is a peaceful place, a place that I come to so I can be rejuvenated, a place that inspires me to recapture the person I use to be and to surrender the suspicious and untrusting persona that has taken over my body as a result of too many hurts. Here there is no looking over my shoulders in a need to protect my brod, here I can rest, here I can pick up my bible and spend quite time with God or walk with him while we enjoy the beauty and nature that has been so long forgotten in the concrete jungle of the city where I live.

I am putting up pictures and adding character and charm in hopes that the holiday visitors will find peace and relaxation while visiting the way I do and for just alittle while they too can forget the business of the city. It's an odd thing I realize as I go about my decorations that this person inside of me that emerges while I'm here is the young girl who looked at the world with a giving heart and a trusting hand without the slightest suspicion of the hurt and pain that changed me into the person I am now. For the first time in a long time I feel unpressured, I feel less afraid, and I'm not angry instead I am happy and my heart is open and I long to be involved with life and people when before this last year I kept at arm's length in fear of being hurt or taken advantage of. Here I long to be the wife my husband deserves to have, the mother that my children remember from days gone by and the friend that use to open my house and home to the people I love and encourage relationships that I thought I could no longer have because of the fear I felt when I worried I would get hurt again. It's hard to believe that a change of residence can lift so much burden off a person but in truth it is God working with me through the distance that I am able to put between myself and my family from the bitter sadnesses that are associated with memories of our pasts in the cold, hard city. I am so thankful to God for putting us in the right place at the right time and helping us believe that it would all work out even though we couldn't afford the cost of keeping up two houses. Now looking back a year ago to when we were excited but scared when we purchased this place, I know that it was the right thing to do and in time the old house will sell and we will be here permanently and the feelings of the past will be left behind in the city we no longer call home.

A good day!

I went to see Dr. Davis today and he said my aneurysm is now offically gone! Yay! He did say though that my spleen is not functioning like anticipated so I will continue to hurt alittle off and on as it dies off. I don't have to go back to see him or Dr. Godshall again unless I need to so that is a positive thing.

The reason it was such a good day is I have lost another 3lbs. for a total loss of 15lbs. since I have been in the hospital. I haven't been able to loose in so long!

Yay Me;)

Blessings and hardships

I finally threw away the roses my hubby got me last week. About once every 2 or 3 months he brings me roses, I don't know why....I don't do anything special to deserve roses but still the same he brings them to me. He is a sweet man, much more of a man than I deserve at some times but always good to me. God knew what I needed, He seen the pain and suffering I had gone through previously and He blessed me with Bobby.

Whether we choose to allow Him, God knows what we need in our lives, the hard thing is allowing Him to do His will in our lives instead of us doing our will. I did my will before I met Bobby and it cost me so dearly, sometimes you can start down a road you never intended to be on but then you get lost and you can't seem to find your way back. Have you ever just wished you could stop the world sometimes and get off, just take a break? Just for a minute? I've been there, it was right before I gave up my desire to have my own will for my life and let God take control. If you find yourself at the end of your rope or you wonder how your life got to be so bad then stop and look up because God is waiting to show you a better life.