Slow progress

I guess its been about 11 days now since my last day in the hospital and I am having slow progress. I went to see my doctor yesterday and I was worried because my leg looks so dark that I thought they may put me back in the hospital but he didn't. He said the dark place is where blood has pooled and it just gives it a dark look...Thank God! I thought I was getting gangrene or that my skin was dying.

I bought the compression stocking last week that he wants me to wear but when the lady put it on me I thought I was going to die it hurt so bad. I took it to the doctor so he could see it and he agreed that there is no way I can wear it right now with my leg infected the way it is so he used a special gauze called an unna bandage that is soaked in Calamine and wrapped my leg....it was really painful at first but I am beginning to adjust with it as long as I take my Lortabs that is! I can actually walk better with the bandage and the feeling of pushing my leg through a box of needles when I first put in down is gone with it on.

I was really sick when I was in the hospital... I mean that night I went to the emergency room I literally felt like I was dying. The first 5 days they wouldn't even let me eat so I lost 10 lbs. which is awesome and now that I am out I find that my stomach has shrunk and I cannot eat as much...I also have the desire to stop eating before I get full now so that I won't get reflux and cokes taste horrible now. I also realize that if I want to live my life I need to make some changes so that my health will improve. My weight is a big problem and it causes so many problems with my health so this has got to change.

Over the next several months I see alot of things happening...In early August I go to see my Infectious Disease doctor and hopefully he will be able to help me know how to keep my cellulitis and my ezcema under control. The next week after that I see the surgeon who will take care of the Anyeresum that is leading to my spleen....this is something that has to be taken care of because it is life threatening so I'm sure he will schedule some procedure relatively quickly. I also will be needing to have I guess a hysterectomy because I have a cyst on my ovary and in my uterus. I also know that once I am well that my doctor will want me to schedule to have either Lap Band surgery or a Gastric Bypass because with my illnesses I cannot loose the weight on my own. I guess the one thing I have learned is that if I had taken better care of my body I would not be in the shape that I am in.

God is so good because there was so much wrong with me when I went to the hospital and had that not happened I'd never known....God has His ways of showing us things and I am so lucky that He chose to show me how to get help.

Sick

Just wanted to make a message so anybody who has been wondering what happened to me would know. I just got out of the hospital yesterday after being in there for 9 days. I went in because I suddenly started having uncontrollable chills, vomitting, and pain in my leg. I was fine then I got sick all of a sudden, by the time I got to the hospital I was running I think 104. tempurature...I don't remember for sure I just know they told me it got to 104.7 before it finally came down.

We still don't know exactly what's all going on but they sent me home because they can treat me with antibotics at home and it won't cost me that large hospital bill. I thought I had cellulitis which it does look and feel like it, my chart said I have Necrotizing Fasciitis, my doctor says I also have Lymphnedema with a large mass of infection in my lower right abdomen, on my left side I have a small aneryerusm on an artery going to my spleen. The first thing I mentioned is a flesh eating virus, which if you read about it, I don't see how I could have that since mine did not progress as most cases do. The second thing has to do with my lymphnodes in my leg, apparently my lymphnodes have a hard time getting infection out of my body and it just stays there.

Anyway, I am finally home which is a blessing and let me just say that I praise God because I really thought I was going to die and He has watched over me and I know He will continue to do so. We have all been scared and I guess I know that to a point I still am but it looks like I will be spending alot of time in the doctors offices. I am only staying on the computer about 10 mins. at a time...which I am over right writing tis but I wanted ya'll to know. I will ask you all to please, please, please pray for me, pray for my husband who has to go to work and take care of the house and do everything and take care of me too.....he's worried financially because all I have is medicare and I cannot imagine how much 9 days in the hospital will cost not to mention all the ct scans and mri's I had...tests...etc... Of course he's worried about so many different things right now too....Pray for my kids who are so worried about their momma. Pray for my sister who is still having such a tough time getting her body in a well state after loosing her kidney....she has enough to worry about without having to worry about me...Pray for my other sister who God blessed with a caring personality who is always there when we need her! Pray for people who might get sick like me and die not having been saved.

I gotta go lay down but I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Love Kellie.

Pet Peeves, Trust, and my thoughts on it all.

My blog today was going to be about the fish that Bobby caught last weekend but since I have "alltimers" desease I had forgotten I already posted that story on another page of my blog...you can view by going here---> And yes I know I mispelled "Alzheimers" but in my case since I am still young or young by older people's standards I call it "alltimers" because memory loss can hit ya at all times of your life;)

Anyway, I have to talk about my chat I had last night because it is one of my pet peeves.... My IM name as many of you know is "Kellibabe1" which as I am accustomed leads to all sorts of sexually charged IMs in hopes that I am the "babe" of some man's sexual fantasy. I have dealt with this my whole internet life since I refuse to change my name...it was my childhood name and it stuck with me. Over time I have dealt with this in many ways such as being invisible at all times, stating in my profile not to im me for cybersex, to even answering the im's and then talking about God because that usually scares them off. Well awhile back I chatted with a christian guy I met on an advice board who I had shared similar life experiences with, we added each other and emailed ocassionally and then that was really the end of my chatting with him until last night. Let me just note that if you, the reader happen to be the guy in question and I misinpreted(sp?) your intentions I do apologize but you are just a platform used to state my pet peeve.

Generally a chat starts out with the cordialities of, "how are you", "whatcha doing", etc... then it will eventually lead into some comment that will start the topic leading towards the intended conversation. In this case I knew the man had martial issues so of course I asked how the marriage was going which lead to the comment that he hadn't had any sex lately....in all fairness this guy was truly stating that the marriage had still not proceeded any further and they were still tettering on the problem of sex and his patience. I have to admit that when the word "sex" is entered into the conversation a red flag immediately goes up in my head and I go into defense mode. Ladies let me tell you when that word enters into conversation on chat be prepared that at some point this talk will no doubt turn into a cybersex chat!! So defense mode activated I immediately retailate with what I think their problem is and how he needs to fix it....the poor guy if he was just chatting with me really got a earful on how he needs to be more patient and if its a trust issue he isn't ever going to gain her trust by being on the internet chatting with ladies....etc....lol Actually in regards to fixing a relationship that was broken by internet pornagraphy, infedilities, and general disregard for one's marriage doesn't it just make sense to anyone that you cannot even begun to gain trust in your marriage again if the problem is still sitting in the room? I mean granted the computer can be used for many things, God knows that He can reach millions with this wonderful internet and it brings people together who would never have had an opportunity to meet otherwise, and the world of information is so great on the 'net it makes you wonder how we ever lived without it before. BUT... as the Bible says.... If your eye offends thee then pluck it out...I am paraphrasing here since I don't have the exact verse at hand... should that not apply to those things which even though may be helpful can be much more harmful in our lives? You cannot build trust in a broken marriage by keeping the very thing that causes you to "cheat" in the marriage with you....you would not keep a lover in your house if you were trying to save your marriage would you? The power of pornagraphy on the net is so strong, it pops up everywhere no matter if you are looking for it or not.

Ok, I know that I don't know everything so please forgive me for acting like I do its just that sometimes people don't think. I'm not saying that a person should totally get rid of the computer or even the internet but there are filters out there and christian web browsers. This is not what bothered me though....it was the fact that it was 12:30 in the am and he was talking to me, a woman that bothered me. If I were in her shoes and my husband was on the net late at night talking to a woman I could not develop trust with him. If I were his wife and he was on the net talking with women about the fact that I have not been intimate with him because of trust issues I would not be trusting him anytime soon. Trust comes in all forms and it is not given it is earned, if you expect it to be given just on your word and your past is not worthy of trust then you cannot expect it to be given on word alone. The first area of trust would be that they both made a commitment to not talk about their marital relationship with anyone other than a counselor. The second area of trust would be that the only time either of them spent on the computer on the net is while the other is in the room and could view what was being typed...this is how to build trust. Another thing that gets me...people are not stupid, come on there are many programs out there that one can put on a computer to log every single word that is typed so that the person can see and know what is being said. What if one of those programs are intact and this man is telling someone else that his marriage lasks sex, why would she ever trust him???? If you want her trust you need to really, really try! But to be all out honest here, she should not be witholding sex as a means to punish him because in witholding sex she is pushing him to do exactly what caused the problem to begin with.

So theres another issue that drives me crazy!!! Ladies how do you expect your man to be satisfied if you won't be there for him....it is your job, it is in the Bible, and in truth your marriage can only get stronger by coming together in a loving situation, giving yourself to one another. Love isn't just a feeling its a choice, you choose to love someone and you can choose not to love them by changing your mind. You have the power all in your head to make you feel the way that you do....if you are constantly downing someone in your head eventually you are going to believe it, your mind is a powerful thing that the devil uses, God says not to listen to our own selves...ok so your not a christan forget the devil stuff using your brain, the truth is your brain is your strongest alli(sp?) because you don't trust anyone as much as your trust yourself right? I'm sorry I just don't aggree because you can talk yourself into or out of anything and you know what I mean because we've all done it before. So like I said you choose to love by talking yourself into these feelings and then since the brain is the process center for all of your body, it tells your heart what to feel. So back to the withholding issue...if you tell yourself you love your man then you should commit to him, the feelings will feel good and the thoughts will confirm your love and you continue this cycle until you feel that trust, the love...etc...

So I guess ya'll think I'm crazy huh? Well, I really didn't get on the actually pet peeve I meant to talk about but heck I still wrote a book so I guess I'll shut up for now. Anyway Bobby is home and I try not to be on the computer when he is home. I love my Bobby:) Take care, God Bless, and peace out!

Kellie

Back home again.....

Monday June 4, 2007 - 2AM

Well here I sit after a week of no computer desperately in need of sleep but unable to close my eyes. We spent the week down at the property and oh how hard it was too leave! There's no phone, no cable, no computer, and no Leo there but for some reason I don't feel so bad when I am there. I find myself getting up earlier, going outside and enjoying the air, the sun, nature, and life something that seems to elude me back here in Louisville. Why oh why is it so different? How can a change of scenery change your life?

Monday June 4, 2007 - 9:30PM

Well that was about as far as I got this morning before I fell asleep sitting in my computer chair. I woke up at 3:30AM with my legs propped up on Sierra's bed, I hate when I do this because it always causes my legs severe pain but I do it anyway. Then I went to the recliner and slept there until about 9AM, the recliner is the one thing I truly miss while I am out in the country!

So it was another wonderful week at the property. We discovered 5 new residents of our property - a momma cat and 4 babies have taken up residence under the house. They are wild cats and won't let us near them. Whenever we come out of the house or they see us they run under the house where we can't get to them. I was also lucky enough to be graced with the presence of a mouse in the kitchen. We knew we had mice but hadn't seen any until I seen one run across the floor. Bobby set a trap and the next day the little mouse just couldn't resist the cheese and wrote his own death sentence. I felt bad that he had to die but I can't stand having poop all over everything not to mention the disease they spread around.
Bobby and Jeff really didn't do alot of work on the property last week except cut the grass and unload and put up alot of the wood we have had on our trailer. Bobby did take the time to build a new bridge and I guess Freddie will move it into place next weekend. It was just too hot to do much outside work...we did go yard saling but even that was a headache, I was heat sick for the rest of weekend after that! The nicest part was sitting outside in the mornings and early evenings on the swing watching the fish and turtles swim...it is the most peaceful and relaxing experience.

Each time we are there we seem to meet more and more super nice people....people are so friendly here, everybody waves when ya drive by. A man named Freddie who lives down the road has a backhoe and we went down to find out what he would charge us to grade part of the property, uproot some trees, and get the boat out of the pond, Bobby talked to him for a real long time and he said he would stop by later to see what Bobby wanted done. Well, while we were gone he happened to stop by and went ahead a pulled the boat out of the pond!! We were so shocked to see it out of the pond when we got home that we went right down to his house to thank him and find out how much we owed him and he just laughed and said it was nothing that he hadn't even done anything yet! While we were talking to him come to find out he is the one who put the pond in originally. The old man who owned it (before the last two people) lived there for years and years until he died, he ask Freddie to put it in and then never paid him! Freddie says the shallow end which is the left side is about 10 feet deep and the deep end is around 20'ish feet.

It's a funny thing about buying a home in a small town because everyone knows everything about your property. It is so fasinating meeting people and listening to their stories about the house and the previous owners. I guess over the last couple of months we have met a man who lived there when he first got married(60 yrs. ago), the man who built the chimney, the man who laid the concrete floor in the garage, the man who bought the property from Herschel(the longest owner) and then split it up into smaller parcels and now the man who put in the pond. Though I cannot remember them by name I know that since this house was built there have been a total of 5 families who have lived here, I know that the house started out much smaller and as each person's family grew they added on more rooms. Living in Louisville unless we contracted these people personally we would mostlikely never meet the people who worked on our house! Another odd thing is to be talking to a stranger and say what area of town we bought our house and them saying to us, "oh you bought so and so's house", or "that's the house on the corner of such and such street". I guess because the house sit empty for so long and it had gotten looking so bad that people remember it. All I can say is it must of been "that eyesore on the corner" for many folks down there because they all compliment us on what a good job we are doing getting the place back in shape.

Well I guess that's it for the night I'm getting sleepy again and about ready for bed. Sierra is behind me complaining because she has a headache and we won't let her play on the computer or her game.... when will she learn these things don't help her headache? Sigh......kids;)

Night

Work on the Louisville house

Well we finally had the carpet laid and the upstairs is coming right along. What we have left to do in the bedrooms is connect the electricity, hang the ceiling fans and put up the border in Sierra's room and decide if we will put up wallpaper on the green wall in our room. Of course this is only the bedrooms, we still have to finish the floor, walls, and some of the ceiling in the hall. Finishing means we still need to paint walls and put the wood paneling we are using on the lower half. The bathroom needs to be painted as well and the stairs need to be carpeted.

I am attaching two videos one of Sierra's room and one of ours. The first one up is the master bedroom.



This next one is of Sierra's Room.



I also have pictures which you may be able to see better. If you'd like to see them click the link below.

http://picture-documentaries.blogspot.com

If a link doesn't appear please follow the link on the right hand side ------->
which will be located at the top of the right hand side below my picture called, "My picture/video page"
More to come......