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11.14.2006

There's a reason they call them "ex's"

I was cursed to see my ex today and this time I had my daughter with me. It's amazing how things work out but first alittle background info.

I have a tendency to want to know what area of town he lives in so that I make sure we steer way clear of him....Well, understandably this doesn't sit well with Bobby because he'd rather I not even have that much of a connection with him. So I have not "looked" for him so to speak to see what area he is in.
Well by chance a couple weeks ago we bought something from a fellow cheapcycler and as it turned out it was also a mutual aquaintance of ours and his. Well they told me what area of town that he was living in and of course it happens to be the same area I live in so I was truly upset by this. My first thought was for the safety of my daughter and how I really needed to know where he lived at now but then it occured to me that through no involvement of my own GOD used someone to tell me that I need to be on my guard.

God truly does watch out for us....... So anyway back to how amazing things turn out..... I went to pick up my daughter from her grandma's today and then went to stop by the store. Well, I had some mail I needed to get filled out before I went in so I could put it in the box so I sat there and filled it out. When I got done I opened my door to get out when I noticed Sierra was still seatbelted and playing her game so I turned to look at her and tell her to come on. Well right out of the corner of my eye I noticed this couple walking towards the store and it turned out to be my ex. I told Sierra nevermind and I got back in the car and we drove away and the whole way I was thanking God for warning me.
Had I not stopped to fill out my envelope we would have been in the store and probably would have come face to face with him, this terrible guy who abused my daughter. She has not seen him in 8 yrs. and though she has become well adjusted she still has nightmares about him and one day when she gets old enough she plans to have him prosecuted. So here was another event where we were supernaturally warned and protected by God. I am so thankful! As I said it just goes to show that God will take care of us if we allow him (even if we don't really) with no involvement from us whatsoever.

I so look forward to when we move down to our property we are buying so that I don't even have to worry about being in the same town as him! It's not that I am frightened by him or worry that he will hurt us, truthfully a man such as him well, he really isn't a man to be honest but a person such as him once he has left his mark on your life what you want is to totally be free from any contact even if it's just seeing his face in passing. I would honestly like to erase him from my memory and my life but you know Sierra tells me that even though it was a bad time for her, us that she wouldn't change anything because had we not been at that place in that time, we may not have met Bobby in the place and time we did and we would not be so blessed to have him, Jeff, and Todd in our lives. She is such a unique and understanding person, she has such a way about her. She finds the good in everything! Thank God!

As far as my ex, they say time heals all wounds....I remember when I seen him a year or so after we split up and I thought to myself, "gee, he isn't as good looking as I thought he was", well this time when I seen him I just looked at him and thought how small he looked as if he had shrunk in my mind. I remember when we first split up before I knew what he did to my daughter that I thought I just couldn't live a day without him. And even years later, I still felt saddened by this terrible thing that happened in our lives when I thought it was going to be all perfect. The truth is, you really do heal, granted it takes some time and honestly we have to learn to let go of that hurt, let go of what might have been and see what is the truth even though we may not want to see it.... We have to learn to change our perspective because it is all within us to do so and if we would learn that we cannot change or heal anyone and see a person for what they are we would all end up in a lot less of a mess then we find ourselves in. The only person you can change is yourself and the only way of changing others is through first pray and second by example. When we become good examples others genuinely want to change to be like us.

What a challenge but please make your example Christlike because if you model yourself after anyone else you set yourself up for failure.

Peace out!

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